well 61 is not bad..

if you are not planning on running competitively. I get tired of the women in my age category sizing me up then passing me up to cross the finish line ahead of me.

My girl friend id about three minutes faster than I. She looks looks a lot faster! She was about a block ahead of me the whole time during a recent freeway run.

I ran like hell or so it felt..like running in place with people passing on both sides. My shoes hurts on top of my foot where too cushiony and feel the bulk of the shock on top of my foot plus the bulk of the cushion of the top of the shoe. So, don't know what I can do about that...then my thighs became to ache a bit when running in the wind and up hill besides! But, I made it in barely over 31 minutes. I just wanted 29 or less minutes. I need to drop a few and do speed work.

Damn this laptop is hot..on my lap. Hunk of junk! Compaq crap! I know! I'm tired and cranky now! So, leave me alone.

I love living here... I pray if she does get a dog.. it's a mute mutt! I would suggest a English Bull Dog.. they are cute and too lazy to bark...I hate the snippy nervous things. And what makes people think that if it is small.. it is quiet! Big misconception. There was one visiting that barked the whole time they were gone. Anyway, it's out of my hands and I'm sure.. the cute little darling will be just that a sweet smiling silent wonder!

If that fire out yet? I'm tired and want to go to sleep! Now someone is hammering....a nail I hope! One thing with living in a close small complex I never feel alone. There comfort in that I guess. Hm! I'm beginning to think it's too late at night for a nail, nail. Oh, I think someone is trying to knock ice off the windshield. I hope they thought of starting the car first. Probably the doors are frozen shut! There is salt on the streets however.

Okay time for bed before I get a third wind... it's 1:00 AM Monday morning and freezing rain has made it's way here... I swear I would turn around and come home before I tried to drive down my girlfriends street...no way! No shoulder, windy, narrow and steep with sharp curves... get the picture? Dangerous!

Okay fire is down and I'm out for the count! I love to type. My handwriting is slopping....more to come tomorrow.

nothing to do with age.. but

my cholesterol was high 256 last year nad 258 this year.. HDL was 73. LDL should be less than 130 my was 170. So, I'm on a low carb diet! Wel because I was eating lots of vegetables and fruits! Really! Yes, but I was eating lots of high carbohydrate fruits like mangos, bananas, papaya and lots of smoothies with them and lots of energy drinks.

I know I can do this with a low carb diet because I have in the past! December 1999 was higher than 258 and in eight months got it down to 180.. of course then too I dropped 20 pounds. This time around only need to lose about nine pounds. I would love to see a weight of 119 again. Today I weight 127. Hey! I run, swim, do yoga, bicycle in warm weather..but probably will begin riding at the gym soon! Wonder what I'm waiting for? Maybe tomorrow I will for a bit! Today I ran for 90 minutes.

Then in 2005 my cholesterol was 215 <200 so that is not really bad! I was very thin then about 117... one day I reached 115 and I wasn't even trying.. I just had no appetite (a break-up).

I can do it again! I am doing the 55 grams of carbs per day which is the maintenace plan of the High Protein diet! Actually I don't really count carbs I only try to eat low carb fruits and vegetables. Wow! I had a think slice of pear today and it seemed so sweet! I love what I am eating! I feel wonderful! I sleep better! My gut is happy!

I had intestional gas galore eating all those sugars and high carbs! I was in misery! I felt so much better within one day after I began the high protein low carb diet. Yes! I flipped the nutrition pyramid upside down and put protein on top! Then low carbs below and no breads or grains yet. I could eat a little brown rice.

The Protein Power book has a wonderful pancake recipe with rice flour, cottage cheese, cream cheese, wheat germ, baking powder, egg and I'm sure something else I'm leaving out. I haven't had it for a long time...a few years now! But, it's wonderfully tasty and I can use low carb syrup.

Okay here's the Fluffy Pancakes Recipe that serves 2:
2 Extra-large eggs
1/4 cup of cottage cheese
2 Tablespoons cream cheese
pinch of NutraSweet or Equal or Splenda
3 tablespoons wheat germ
1 Tablespoons rice flour or Wondra
1 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of baking soda

Whip the eggs in a food processor or by hand until frothy. Add the cheeses andbeat until smooth. Add a little artifical sweetener. Add the rest of the ingredients and pulse to blend. Gently scrape the batter into a small bowl. Heat a nonstick skillet or griddle with a little butter as needed and when it's hot spoon the batter onto the griddle - about 10 pancakes. Cook over a medium heat until the edges of the cakes are set and large bubbles appear across the surface, about 1 minute. Carefully flip them and cook for half as long as on the first side or until golden. Serve on heated plates, with a drizzle of dietetic maple syrup or berry syrup and a couple of breakfast link sausages or crisp bacon (about 2 grams protein).

Pancakes do not particularly well so if only making them for yourself, cut the recipe in half.

Read the book "Protein Power" it's stuff full of dietary nutrition information!

So wish me luck! I'll be fine! Oh, and I'm running okay now.. only took me a couple of days to switch from carbs/sugar for energy to protein.

I read somewhere that our bodies make cholesterol and increases that production if we do not get enough in our diets.. Interesting! Something doctor's don't tell you maybe? The sheet they handed me was saying eat lots of vegetable, fruit, grain, bread heavy and protein light! Imagine!

My running buddy who is a physical therapist told me that sugar causes inflamation! And see now doctors want to give people with "normal" cholesterol statins - go figure. Well, great for sales! They claim that if C R Protein is high (indicating inflamation) then statins are good for lowering and maintaining. But no one tells you that too many carbs are NOT good for you instead they say more fruits and vegetables and eat them all day long. Well, I must admit I did have some candy, bread, and sometimes cookies too! In other words I was eating what ever I wanted too!

Do you know that never in my life have I been able to eat whatever I want too! And people are surprised at that because I am thin! I wear that I eat just like anybody else. So that's it!

And once more I know that I am doing right by me.. and I can honestly say I do not miss the sweets at all! It's funny how quickly I get use to NOT eating sweets and if I should eat something sweet right now, it would seem "too" sweet! Yes, our bodies are magical.. treat them right and they treat you right!

Still going smoothly

I'm loving it! Life! Youthfulness, my friends, lover - life!

I thank the universe for my many blessings and my spirit guides who guide and protect me and watch over me and make my life magical as they will tomorrow and the next day and the rest of the week.

I will prosper and rise and look for that special gift for my love.. one for her, one for me. It's how silly I am. Or just love what I want to get for her.

I am sculpturing soapstone too. I know it will turn out to be very lovely.

And so I thank those Emma, Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette. They would make like possible and happy as can be. Thank you so much! Let's make it magical! It is magaical. Today and the whole weekend was magical!

Thanks for y youthfulness, agility, pain free activities and tireless activities filled with energy and eagerness!

still running..

at least 2 hours and 20 minutes and probably 12+ miles every few days in preparation for the half marathon coming up in about three weeks.. the weekend before election day when the time changes.

I feel I need to drop a few pounds although I felt strong and great this morning when I ran while listening to NPR. It takes my mind off of running. I ran around a fancy dancy neighborhood with great hills! I ran around it twice at least, of course it was a mile to get there, then around .8 road six times around the park. So, I'm thinking I ran at least twelve or more miles. I was tired afterwards but I can tell I'm becoming very conditioned! I feel great!

Last week I ran on Monday then again on Friday, maybe in stead of Monday, it was Tuesday and in the rain. It was great! That day I ran the .8 ten times and about a mile each way to get there to the that particular park.

I make sure I take Glucosamine Chondroitin on a daily basis and do yoga poses. I've discovered Yin Yoga. A deep connective tissue work out where poses are held long - up to ten minutes if desired leaving you feel energized and centered.

I normally do some yoga poses every day. Oh, I'm getting tired now. I didn't sleep well last night because I was taking out to dinner and so ate a little too late in the evening.

So, we'll see. I thank the universe for my flexibilities and pain free running and doing whatever I do. And keeping me safe! Very important. And adding love to my life! Lots of love! Thanks for my good health, fortune, wisdom and wealth of friends. Priceless! Life is grand!

Oh good Sunday will be pretty so another grand Sunday coming up! Yes! I've been riding my bicycle every weekend.

I'll swim and work out with weights tomorrow...I guess!

Again, thanks to the universe. Thanks to my special spirit guides like Emma, Ezekiel, Edy, and Gorgette

I'm tired

and going to bed. I recently turned 61 and I am training for a half marathon coming up the beginning of November. My mistake, well, I guess sort of, is that I ran 12 miles on Wednesday then swam for 50 minutes on Thursday then did yoga stretches and ran 12.4 miles on Friday - again. But, I was full of energy Friday morning and actually felt better while running especially the last mile to the finish. I had a better dinner the night before - pizza. Whereas, on Tuesday evening I think I only had some popcorn. Not wise! But interesting. Of course right before the run I had a couple of Shot Bloc's with caffeine energy blocks. Good stuff!

I drank about a bottle of wine last evening after running and I know that I dehydrated so it hit me like a rock! I felt like shit tday - and didn't attend an outing with my love today. But, she was fine, she went with a friend.

today is my birthday and being 61 is not bad at all! I celebrate my youthfulness and wonderful young friends, one who thinks I am hot! No, she offered up that compliment freely! It was not forced. This was in August when I bought new runner shorts and running cool fabric close fitting T-shirt . She said I was hot! I thank the universe. I wanted it and I got it. I releasned the Secret this past 60th year! And that is our thoughts are or become our reality. Want it you got it! I have a wonderful spiritual Guid team working for me and they are near me always protecting me and guiding me toward wealth and continuous active healthy days of while I will have more than the average person my age or any age or status who do not realize that they indeed are their thoughts. I am so fortunate to have made this fabulous discovery! Thank you universe! I wonder if any ofmy friends will catch on! Now to sleep so I. An rise early and run then play goff then seeing flicts with my ex until my girlfriend gets off work and can join us for dinner. Thanks universe you guys are so cool and I am glad Emma joined the team don't you guys love her too! Beat sang dog in the universe! Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette please take care of each other and her - and me and my possesions and my friends and theirs. May we all have as much money to do as we please. By the way, I love the saxophone thanks. My birthday present to myself! Enhance my memory and my singing and playing abilities!

Don't have a problem

with my age.. I'll be 61 soon! I don't really feel any different then I did was I was 31.. So, 61 is the new 41.. I'll go with that!

I came in second in a 5k run in the 60+ group..oh my competition was right behind me the hold time, holding back (little did I know) until the last quater mile. I wondered where she was - it's not easy to turn around while your running.. but she past me and in only 20 seconds are so came in ahead of me to win the first place trophy.

I love my life! I'm training now for a half marathon in November. Can't wait for that one either! I ran for an hour and half this morning - about 8.5 miles.

Just did some yoga poses now and before I ran this morning. Then I play my saxophone which I believe is great for deep breathing training. I have more things to do today.. so have to get moving on.

I will write a song, work on my book, color my hair and sing and play my guitar.. oh and I want to draw a portrait this evening... oh and talk to my girlfriend.

Have a great day.

nearing sixty-one

oh I don't really mind! I'm hot! Sure was this morning when I tried to run about five miles - I was pooped! Well, my excuse? It was very humid out today. It was hard to breathe as I ran around a near by "small" one mile loop round.

But, I surely, purely enjoyed it as I ran with my girlfriend, rather I followed her. She is so much faster than I. I'm in trouble! I have a stubborn competitive streak. I hate to lose! Well, I got over it - hey I do it to myself!

Soon, I got over being left in the dust! But, I only need to drop a few pounds and push myself more. I plan to cross train with bicycling hills near by too.

It's time to go to sleep I can't keep my eyes open. I ran hard this morning. Then did some yoga poses. I know, I know, I need to remember to do the yoga poses first before I even put on my running clothes.

Showered afterwards then I played my saxophone. I love playing my saxophone! Then I sang and played guitar for about ninety minutes.

Now, after drawing and resisting the urge to go on line and buy pastel sandpaper I am heading to bed.

Life is great! I had a wonderful time with my girlfriend with weekend and was it every busy with riding bicycle both Saturday and Sunday morning for 30 miles each and then attending a deck party on Saturday evening and a BBQ on Sunday evening.

I love her - we are good together and we like the same things. I bet one day she tries playing golf too. Especially if her friend takes it back up again.

So I'm 60 going on 30 inside and out. I have no complaints! I am very blessed and thank my spirit guides for my magical days..make tomorrow magical too. Allow my talents to shine through my fears. So far right now I'm only entertaining myself, but I find that I can for hours with both saxophone and singing and playing guitar.

I theory and reason for taking up the saxophones (besides loving the sound) is to improve my breathing and therefore my signing. I find that I can hold tones longer and sing louder and stay on key. Life is great fun!

And what about politics - do I really want to venture into that area? Oh why not! Well, bottom line, we could have had alternative fuels in place a long time ago - we have the technology and bumper crops of corn for ethanol for years. But, bottom line, there just isn't any profit in it for the oil men so it's been dropped. Oh haven't you noticed it. As a society we could be for more economically and productivity farther advanced then we are right now. But there is no money in it for the oil men - which include your present administration and the Bush dynasty. Do your homework!

Life is grand and the air is dirty and we can't afford to buy anything but so what...the oil men are getting even more rich.

And here's the groups that are anti-abortion. Are you going to rise all these unwanted kids? And war is fine but abortion isn't I guess. In Iraq and Afghanistan we are killing innoccent civilians. That's murder people! But Christians don't have a problem with that do they!

So, Bush buddies allowed corporations to run amok and they just rip us off extremely in the health, finacial, mortage and everyone area you can think of. I'm sick and tired of idiots trying to rip us off. Where is the government by the people for the people? Hello! We elected you bums to serve us not get bought by large corporations. There are 33,000 lobbyist in Washington buying off politicans.

I'm done for now... too tired and porbably not making much sense anyway - but think before you vote. Or really, will it really matter? It's probably rigged!

who cares..

what a fabulous day! It's near noon and only 76 degrees - in August! Yay! I ran twelve miles this morning in preparation for half marathon I will be doing in the beginning of November. Guess I'm ready! I just like to run.

Now, after enjoying a smoothie I will walk to get salad fix'ins. Did you watch Michelle Obama last night giving her DNC (Democratic National Convention)? What a hit! Her brother's segway was genius and Michelle's speech ever so natural and warm.

The topping was daddy on the big screen greeting them from Kansas City. The little girls were as natural as can be. I'm certainly won ever if I hadn't been before.

This evening Hillary Clinton speaks.. I'm sure he speaks before Bill who speaks tomorrow evening. Ted Kennedy was grand last night too. All in all it was a fabulous, intertaining event.

Yes, and made me proud to be an American - Well, I will be as soon as we get these greedy crooks out of the white house and do away with world running lobbyist. What a bunch of thieves! Big corporations need to be regulated and need to pay their fair share of taxes..I'm very tired of being riped off by them and this so called government-for-the people allowing it to happen. It's time the government do their jobs and provide for "us" just like in European countries and in Canada. As it is now government officals are getting paid and kick-backs from large corporations to turn a blind eye to their greedy, cheating ways. Workers get paid next to nothing; certainly not enough to keep up with the higher cost of living, which greedy ass CEO's rake the money into their own pockets.

Things need to change!

Oh what the heck

I don't really care about being 60.. I'm almost 61. I'm still running almost everyday. But I do believe that I will ride bicycle less and less. Why? I don't know it may be getting too dangerous. And I really don't feel like driving fifty miles to ride across the river. I've done the trails so many times..it's the same old thing...so boring. It seems the street are too dangerous and the trails too boring or too many people on them.

A car came within a foot of me today. I truly saw that I had no room for error. He was probably seven inches from my handlebars. My mistake perhaps other than being out there was riding perhaps too close to the curb which left me no place to go if I had too. I was riding in the twenty inch space between the edge of the road pavement and the curb and right there he was riding. Oh he had lots of room to move near the center line. He was driving a compact car. He had room. Either he was sedated, blind, stupid or tried to get as close as he could. I didn't alter - I had to room to do anything..but ride steady ahead. It seems a long time until his car passed and I was only too grateful that the cracked pavement and holes were shallow because I didn't even have room to dismount if it would have been necessary! Pretty bad isn't it when motorist don't care if they kill, cripple or injure permanently. So, from this day on, I will ride less and less.

I had a premonition actually early today, a feeling of uncertainly and even fear when I thought about riding because recently a friend heard someone got hit on a bicycle and called me to see if I was alright. So, the concern had lingered and was brought foreword into my consciousness this unseasonably beautiful clear, cool actually, August day that I couldn't resist. I had a warning and my spirit guides then made sure I came back unharmed. Trust me, I was ready to get back home. I'll walk next time - they'll have to jump the damn curb to get me from now on.

This is the time of my life where I treasure every waking moment of exploring my consciousness and wonder. There is so much to learn and explore that I not ready to have it messed up by some stupid, ignorant, jealous driver so is childish enough to try to scare a bicyclist. Like get a life! I was in no way hampering his trip. I was well off to the side. I said I was riding near the curb so he came over to be extra close to me as he passed by.

So I refuse to be a statistic - go find some other victim - you loser! It's the same as when I was very young and waited for the bus in the morning heading to work and this sicko came along and offered me ride. Yeah right! "I won't rape you!" Asshole! I thought you damn right you won't..I was in a bad mood that morning anyway. Stupid asshole man! Why are some men so sick in the head? Losers! And they always strike out to others and not act internally. They have to take out others before he take out themselves. Like I said - losers.

So anyway, because there are stupid people out there and medicated people, and drunks, and people on phones I give it all up. You win! Next time you'll have to jump the curb to try to get me because I will either be running or walking my errands - no more bicycling.

So there you are - guess I'll do more running in the park. Oh, I guess they'll be waiting for me there too. They are always sitting in cars parked way in the back as it is. Like I said - sickos. Or they are there waiting to meet up with other men - you know living on the "down low". Oh no, they're not gay, just living on the down low. They are married so they can't be gay.

Again, I give up! Cannot comprehend! No compute!

I don't mind!

I don't mind being sixty. Why? I have 61 coming up soon in September..don't mind that at all either. Cause I'm "hot"!

I'm not your average looking over weight, gray, grabby, sickly, in-active, sendentary 61 year old.

I straight backed, slim gut, muscular legs, solid piece of trouble. So look out! I'm blonde. No, I'm not into make-up or foo foo. I'm not butch. I'm feminine enough where guys like me and may even flirt. ie.."Oh, I wanted to see who the good looking blonde was!" My friend says of the auto service department manager "..he likes you".

My ex is the most wonderful person. He alwys did tell me I was the best looking one there. She requests that I play my guitar. Another friends does too. Maybe two others besides. I'm flattered! Very! Compliments mean so much more when they are not solicited.

So I know my blessings, well, most of them. I'm sure some disappointments are blessings in disguise that I haven't chose to reconigize and acknowledge yet.

I thank the universe for my many gifts and blessings. I pray I stay in budget! No big trip planned for me. I'm thinking of buying a saxophone however! I realize that I can only play it when my neighbors are not at home. Or go to the park somewhere and play. I hope if get good fast! I love music.

I need to work on my art too, and sing and play guitar. I am most grateful for my health, wealth, and wisdom. My memory! My pain free body and mind! My common sense! My intelligence! My deligience and tanacity! Hail to mind over matter!

Why is it so hard for my friends to understand that mind leads and bodies follow. We must think positive thoughts! We must demand what we want. Say "I'm boss here".
I don't want my leg to hurt! I want to continue running and I will. Why is it so hard to get my friends to take Glucosamine Chontroitin? And Potassium? And Calcium with Vitamin D. Some dumb 40 year olds take Tums as their calcium source. Hello! Tums do not contain crucial for calcium absortion, vitamin D.

Why don't people do the research? And if they do research these points and ideas, they don't follow them. They are lazy! They would rather sit, get sick and fat then go crying to the doctor's for a fast method of relief!

Prevention is key and most importantly - ongoing! So, get into healthy, active healthy habits. You know what they are; you just choose to bury them and they since you are not active you become depressed and then go crying again to the doctors. Now I am big and fat and depressed! I go running to the doctor who has an interest in drug companies pushes drugs onto you instead of telling you - get your ass outside and walk - and once more, do not scroll along - walk fast! Move that ass!

The bigger they are the faster they move to the smorgistboard and elbow their way in and talk like a man! Big shot! I'm big therefore I must be loud! I big and I bust strings in seats and swatch little people and little dogs I can't see under my feet because of my outboard of a gut.

How did it get this bad? Even young obsese kids have high blood pressure and high LDL Chloresterol levels. Parents? Where are the parents? Oh they are huge too eating chips and fast foods!

What is wrong with we Americans? First of all we are all full of "ego"! We HAVE to have everything we want. All this useless stuff that we try to fill voids with and which doesn't work; food belongs in this category! Big ass SUV's to impress the poor smuck neighbor who is knee deep in debt too, just like you and also acting a like a successful - fool!

A huge houses! What is with that? My friend came from a family with six kids and they all lived in a three or four very small bedroom house, with one phone, one TV, and one car! How did they ever survive? Oh, and no microwave and no computer. No! I wouldn't want to give up any of "my stuff" either.

Forced with rising gas, groceries and everything else, prices I am forced to be more conservative. Like everyone else, I'm fight everyday rising costs.

But I think I'm going to buy my friend a bottle of Glucosamine Chontroitin today in hope that she will follow my advice and take at least two tablets a day so her knee gets better.

Wish me luck!

A "Hot" Compliment!

You know some days are just magical! Although I was tired after running around the park six miles in the heat and high humidity (let's see? Any other excuses?) the day turned out all worth while because I received a compliment. Actually, I like the way my top and running shorts fit the first time I put them on. "Nice" I thought! Actually, I probably said. "Damn! You're hot!"

But after the six of us ran, got smoothies, went to breakfast and proceeded to walk up the
street through the food and art show suddenly I heard. "I like your shorts. Where's you get those?" REI. "They look really hot". "Oh they're not, they're really cool!" (I was milking it and I knew it!). "No, (little louder now) 'you' look hot!" Bingo!

Suddenly I was lifted to a higher physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological level. It doesn't get any better than that! I am truly blessed. This is coming from a 35 year old. I'm 60. She wasn't flirting.

You see I've changed my look in the past few years. When I was deep into a relationship I got the fatter, crew cut, butch look. Not good! I wasn't happy with myself at all! Not at all! I was wearing men's jeans.

Then we split and I went back to my pre-lesbian look with longer hair and much lighter about 125. My hair is wavy. After my change while visited my neighbor her daughter was home from college and had not seen me for several months. She was totally surprised. She genuinely looked surprised and said. "Wow! Your hot!"

Life does have it's magical moments of great incentives. Now, I'll work out and watch my weight even more. I told someone one day that I do not consider it "working out" that I call it "body sculpturing". So, more I"ll try even harder to look my bless the natural way.

I'm an artist - what better canvas then your own body. I appreciate my gifts of youthfulness, my capability to swim, do yoga, bicycle, run, and my sense of appreciation of all of my many gifts. I appreciate my car too.

I know that sounds silly appreciating my car. But I do! Especially in today's economy and with my driving impatience. I whole hearted thank the universe for protecting my car (and me) and keeping us from accident, dents, break-downs, expensive maintenance. I do take my car
to the deal for ten years now for oil changes and regular maintenance. I truly believe in taking a car to a trusted dealer for oil and filter changes. They are professional mechanics who know my car! And besides the cost is competitive with the quick and supposedly cheaper oil change drivethroughs. I pray my car lasts and breaks records in longevity and and extended mileage life. Life is great!

What a blessed day! Thanks! Maybe we do get back what we put out there? You think? Can life get any more grand? I have the love of my friends and a lover who gives me spaces - lots of space.

I have the heart that needs space. I was just thinking of the good doctor! I'll love her forever! I think of her in good times and think of her in bad, sad times. I miss her. I think I'll watch her in the recorded shows that I have of her.

The universe is with me - I know that now. I have always listened to words of my ex. I can't imagine my life without her in it. I cry at the thought. But, we have a pack, if I go I will connect with her at some level and if she goes she will do the same. We both believe in the "other side". I believe and have proof that people on the other side use us as we ask them, for us to use them, for favors. To watch out for others.

As my learn more and stay in the present I become more attuned to the spiritual world and all it magic and how we here are truly part of that. We are all connected by soul energy rather we are living as human beings or past as spirits on the other side.

So, thanks to those spirits for helping me. Of course I will do you favors. I got the best team in the universe pulling for me and making my life magical. I can't wait to see what they have in store for me soon.

Thanks

a day of rest!

Yes, I am eating light and resting today. I need to get my buck in gear on work on my art. Which I will do next. But, right now I am clearing my mind of recorded clutter from watching DVRs

Friday I swam for 40 minutes, worked on with weight machines for 30 minutes, spun for 30 min and Saturday rode 43 miles. And Sunday rode to the run and ran a 5k then rode a total of 53 miles. Yeah! Resting today!

I am grateful for my youthfulness, power, might, determination, well, talents, beauty, intelligence, common sense (how rare if that?).

I am grateful for my many friends. But, most of all very grateful for friends and capabilities. Now, that said and done. I need to get to work with my art.

Please take care of myself and all of my friends. I thank you for my blessings and their's less they forget.

I really don't mind...really

No, I really don't mind my age. Can't do anything about it anyway! Just try to stay fit and healthy.

Friday, I ran six miles, swam for 40 minutes, work with weight machines for 30 minutes then rode the spin bike for 30 minutes.

Saturday I rode 45 miles hooking up with a group of riders. It was a fun time. We got caught in the rain; but it wasn't bad.

Sunday I rode 38 miles with another groups of friends and we stopped for BBQ. Very good and an enjoyable evening.

But in the evening I was pooped and stayed home. It rained with thunder and lightening I didn't go to the 10k run this morning. Hey, I was still pooped I think. My sinuses were bothering me. I am sorry I missed out on the run. I don't know if runners went or not.. they probably did even with the threat of lightening. It's okay if you can run it in 45 minutes I think but six miles takes me over an hour and lately I've been struggly. I need to start at a steady pace and maintain it. Hopefully the weather will be decent tomorrow. Oh, I see blue sky! Hopefully, I'll get a run in tomorrow. Tomorrow evening is the meeting up of the running group.

I've been trying to walk more place too or ride to save gas. Wow! RV owners spend $500. or more to fill up. Cars $80. to fill up. Boats are remained docked. Yet I see F15's and F18's crusing the skies. I bet by labor day we'll see $5.00 per gallon and then I think the American auto industry will bite the dusk because they are oil orientated and won't change over to electric. Oh GM had the EV1 in late 90's but crushed it in 2002 when electric cars got too popular.

Oh just a note... I can't stand Obama. Mr. Pure Boy with an Middle Eastern name Barack, Hussein, Osama, Obama. Don't like him! Don't trust him! I just have a bad feeling in my gut about him.

I hope Hillary comes through. I think McCain will crush Islam Obama. He will be crushed! And then I'll have to listen to robut, whistle speaking, loose tooth, McCain with the monotone voice who all he knows is war, war, war, war, war. I'm so sick of it already!

Hey, so far so good!

I have no complaints. I run with thirty year olds women but win the awards. I came in 2nd in my age group 60-64 in the Run for Sight last weekend. Two years ago I won first place. So, I'm inspired to shed a few pounds and pump my muscles and boost my stamina. I know I can do it.

Actually, for my age, I do have a sound great looking body..just need to lose a couple of pounds so my stomach muscles are more pronounces. I love the curl ups weight machine because I can feel it pull in my stomach muscles. I love it! It tells me that I am gaining ground.

Yes, I was excited and so inspired after I came in second place. First place is not my goal for the Zoo run. Although three years ago when I did it I saw lots of competition. Three years ago I was seeing a 35 year old. She was very good for me then.

You see, I do get what I need from the universe. That 35 year old was put into my life for a reason. I missed out of my lesbian 30's. I was pretending to be straight then - you know social pressures. Well, I thought all lesbians were butch dyke's and I'm not.

I have a heart for the heart of a woman. I can' help I get crushes on women. Show me a beautiful heterosexual couple and I'll long for her. And I'll think, what's in it for her. You see, I need the softness and the warmth and the show of emotions from women. Women are just so much more in tuned.

Sorry, but it's true. I dated many men and I did love the last guy I dated. He loved me. He was very handsome and I felt very feminine when I was with him. It was easier to be straight. And the sex was good. But, something was missing - the touch of a woman. Yes, I hide crushes I had on my women friends. If only my best friend knew. I was afraid to let on; what if she was disgusted with the idea then I would lose her and my whole circle of friends. So, my heart ached and I longed for the impossible. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I hide my feelings my whole entire life. Love was out of reach for me. Yes, it's enough to make me depressed and sad and I was. All the women I ever cared about ended up with men to "never, never know the one who loves you so, no you don't know me". I think someone wrote that song for closeted gays and lesbians.

But time starts now and I can't do anything about the past. I don't usually even think of it. It was another world away. I don't if I ever find love - now. Well, let's face it the pickings are slim. Most women my age or ill, out of shape, grabby, married, or extreme butch. Yes, seems older lesbians think they have to wear flannel. Or they are all partnered up. Men tend to roam more whereas women pair up with life partners. So, there again - slim pickings or no pickings.

It's it's okay. I'm difficult in a relationship anyway. I tend to "go along" and lose myself and gain at least ten pounds. Yes!

On my own I eat when and what I want. I love my independence - so my heart will just have to ache. Hey, I'll run, swim or bike to mass the pain. I have many wonderful friends - mostly lesbian couples. But, that's just the way it goes.

I was happy when I was seeing M whom I saw for about a year and a half. But, I think we both tried to make more of our afternoon delights and began doing activities together - you know like dating. And it messed up the whole afternoon delight mentality of it all. Once a week; one afternoon worked for close to a year though and it was wonderful.

Well, I would do it again and yes, she was married. But, at this point not with her; I need warm and feminine and lovely.

Just be Yourself

Maria Striver is on Oprah today saying for the first time in her life she is claiming her identity.  She is becoming a journalist again.   She has lived up to the Kennedy legacy all his life.

Well, Arnold became governor she lost her identity.   She lost her journalist job.  She was raised to be a person to live for another - for the great cause.  To be what is expected of you.

So many women feel lost because their lives were defined by society - a man's created society.  Men set the rules in society, religion, government.  At jobs!

And they are doing a hell of a good job - aren't they?

My dad was an ass hole.    The meaner and ignorant he could be the better he liked it.   My mother and him fought like cats and dogs - always.  It was disgustingly painful!   Living with them and later associating with them was the most crucially painful experience.  I am so glad I have nothing to do with any of them!   What a bunch of whining, red-necks, perfect, holier than though, hypocrites.   You know, pretty much like the church and the Bush dynasty.  Ass Holes!

Let's see how we can rip you off even more!  Let's drag you through the dirt!  Let's kick you in the gut - while you're down.

To make them feel better and mightier they picked on people.   Criticized!   God they were so perfect!   LIke this perfect god - men created in their own loving likeness.  Men are so egotistical !  Of course they created this bible thing to suit themselves and their own needs.

They people, especially women how to act - for "man's" serving benefits of course.  The guys in my family wanted the women to stand right there and serve them as they did stuff.  I just stood there and let them do it wrong!  You know they knew everything.

When I was growing up I was instructed by my mother to be docile and make the man look good.   Women weren't expected to know anything.  There "duty" was to love, honor, and "obey".  Kiss his ass - in other words.   Be a brainless servant in other words!  A sex object and you better look good and if strayed - it was your fault.   Because you didn't kiss his ass enough.

Women turn on their own - so it's no surprise to me that women "younger" women turn on their own.   Oh, they have to get the man!   It's competitive!   Women turn on their own.   Too bad!

"I don't want to be what people want me to be anymore"!   Women put themselves on the back burner so the man can look good and be successful.  Or the family.  Or the mother.  I hate my mother!  I can't stand to be in the same room with her.   Haven't seen her for almost three years! YIPPEE!  I've never been happier or freer!

I was so sick of being told how to act, what to say, "what will people think" by my mother and preacher brother.  God, he thought he was perfect!  Oh he followed all the rules.  He spends every spare minute with his "buddies".   Men are weird!   He works with men all day and hangs with them in a club.  Gay?  

Read "Just Who Will You Be" by Maria Striver.

Fame is an image - other's people's impression of who you are.   If you marry fame - that doesn't work either.   Done of us is better off than the other.   You alone, or me, we are all good enough just as we are.   

And in my words - just be yourself.   No one is better than you.   All these hot shot relationships?  Just look good!  Hey, I was in a 15 year relationship.  I felt grounded.   I tried to create a good image for straight people, like my ignorant family, to see.   But, they didn't get it.  It was still "What can I do for them".     Always  them!    I'm so glad I don't see any of them!

My friends are my family!   My true family!  I'm tired of kissing asses and living up to other's expectations for THEIR good - not mine.